2019 was a crazy year for me. My whole life changed in the span of a couple months. But in general it started with a trip to visit a friend in DC. One of my last days there, she dropped my off at this shopping district while she has a class for work. I walked all around this cute little place, got breakfast, went to Target (of course), but specifically I remember sitting in this little coffee shop talking with my mom.
I remember telling her that I needed to make some tough decisions when I came home, things with my husband had steadily been getting worse (again) since Christmas. No matter what I tried, we were growing more distant, he was less and less interested in being at home or spending time with me, or having the same conversation over and over. What did he want?
As refreshing as my little vacay had been, the end of it was really the beginning of something so much more than I could have known or envisioned at the time. As you can imagine, things got worse upon my arrival home. More unanswered questions, more watching someone you love make bad decisions.
So my marriage ended.
At first I didn’t want to change anything, my life had already changed so much I just wanted comfort. But then I started looking for jobs and God opened up all the doors for me. Before I knew it I had a couple interviews in the DC area. I got offered the job after one phone interview and everything just fell into place.
My first week here, a couple of church interns happened upon my door with flyers for a sports camp close by. I was tempted to not take the flyer, obviously not having any kids, but they were nice and I was in the market for community, for church. So after just a couple weeks here, I found myself back in the same cute shopping district I’d been in just 6 months earlier. This has been the hub of my life here in DC.
I’ve found the most amazing community. I’ve been encouraged in my walk with God and in the healing process of choosing forgiveness in the end of my marriage. From this church brought my sweet friend that sparked the discussion about the World Race. It’s in this very shopping district that a sit now writing this very post.
Little did I know that God had so much more in store when I was having that conversation with my mom. He was shifting things in my heart and in my life, he was setting things in motion that I never could have dreamed of.
Originally I thought I would never have a year with as much change as 2019 brought. But we make plans and God laughs. I honestly don’t know what to expect in the way of change over 2020 or 2021. But God knows what he has in store for me. He knows the adventures, the journeys both physical and spiritual that He will talk me on. And the truth, I don’t have to know because my Jesus knows. He guides me along in life and all I have to do is trust in Him.
I don’t have to the answers. I don’t have to know what life has in store for me. I don’t have to have a 5 year plan.
All I have to do is trust that my loving Heavenly Father is the author of my story and set my sites on Him. He’s got the rest.
Dear Hailey – Finally catching up with your story, which I’ve only heard of in bits and pieces, secondhand. You have grown into an amazing young woman and have already lived through some devastating life events. It is heartwarming to hear how you have leaned in to Jesus and allowed him to make beauty from what appears to human eyes as ashes. You have allowed him to reach in and grow your desire to seek His purpose for your life. You are allowing him to show you how to flourish despite pain, and you are laughing in the Deceiver’s face! Thank you for being a shining light in this world that some days can seem so cold and dark. My prayers go with you!
Well said my poet. It brought tears to my eyes to hear and understand your faith and your journey
Ohhh Hailey, I so needed to hear this word today. Thank you for sharing, it was beautiful and right on. Blessings as you follow the Holy Spirit leading.